Unspoken Rules Among Women: The Unwritten Codes of Friendship

Women have an intricate network of unspoken rules that govern social interactions. These codes, often unspoken but widely understood, maintain harmony and protect friendships. Let’s explore some of these unwritten rules—how many do you agree with? Do you have any to add?

The Unwritten Rules Among Women

• No Sharing Personal Items: Lipstick, mascara, hairbrushes, lingerie, shoes, or personal grooming tools like epilators are off-limits. If someone says, “Can I borrow your mascara?” they might as well be asking for your Social Security number.
• Loyalty Over Familiarity: If someone has wronged your friend—like betraying trust—they’re downgraded to an acquaintance. Conversations remain polite but distant.
• The Invisible Wingwoman: If your friend’s crush, boyfriend, or ex-boyfriend joins your conversation, you don’t linger. Instead, say, “Oh, I just remembered I have to run!” and make your exit gracefully.
• No Flirting with Friends’ Interests: You don’t flirt with your friend’s crush, partner, or ex—period. Communication with them is polite and neutral, with zero room for misinterpretation.
• No Overanalyzing Their Significant Other: If Rachel plays her boyfriend Jake’s voice on speaker and asks, “Isn’t his voice dreamy?” you say, “What matters is you like it!” Avoid extreme comments like, “Wow, so sexy,” or “He sounds terrible.” Similarly, if Rachel points out Jake in a crowd and says, “Isn’t he adorable?” you respond with, “You two make a great match!” without going into further analysis.

Friends Have Each Other’s Back

• Discretion is Key: If someone’s family calls you asking for their whereabouts, don’t spill the beans. Instead, master the art of vague replies like, “I’m sure she’ll get back to you soon!”
• Support by Default: If your friend has friction with her sister-in-law, mother-in-law, or anyone in her partner’s family, you start on her side by default. Adjust later if needed, but loyalty starts at ten.

Social Etiquette for Shared Spaces

• Keep Your Distance with Couples: When interacting with a couple, maintain a respectful distance from the man. Avoid casual touches or prolonged eye contact.
• No Sharing Intimate Details: Don’t share intimate details about your partner with others—it’s unnecessary and can cause awkwardness or envy.
• Help Without Overstepping: If you’re visiting a friend’s home and tea or snacks are being prepared, offer to help. However, don’t overstep by rummaging through their fridge or cupboards.

Handling Tricky Social Situations

• Respect Elders’ Ways: When dealing with older women who may make unsolicited comments, a simple “Uhmm” or polite nod works better than engaging in debates.
• Don’t Claim Ownership Over Men: If an attractive woman enters the room, resist the urge to act possessive over male friends or partners. Confidence trumps insecurity every time.

Conclusion

These unspoken rules serve as a silent agreement among women, ensuring respect, harmony, and loyalty in friendships and social settings. While not everyone follows them, understanding these dynamics can help navigate complex relationships with grace. What unwritten rules do you live by?